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Inside Felix Futzbucker: an Interview

12 min

Exclusive: Tony Zentelis interviews Felix Futzbucker

Oh hi, reader,

See, writing is terrible. Everyone knows that. I don’t mean my writing specifically (I do want to believe it's not terrible) but writing as an @CtiVitY. Bleeding on the page, thinking constantly of stories and plots and characters, twists and turns of their fates can quickly burn one out or exhaust one mentally, which, being honest, happened to me lately to some extent, and I needed to fix that.

I realised that I've missed "fun", which might not be that visible from the outside given that I publish things here regularly, even pieces that have a humorous touch to them. By "fun", I mean experiments, things done out of pathological curiosity and only for that one reason. This is how I get all my weird ideas (are they?), and this is how I decided to invite Felix Futzbucker, my good friend and bottomless grail of inspiration, to be an occasional co-author here on Nova Nevedoma.

Most of you might know who Felix is, some of you might not, even though I have some characters named after him and inspired by his rich personality, but regardless, I hope he can deliver some interesting thoughts, new ideas, and a portion of fun.

To make Felix a proper introduction, I thought something of an interview medium would do a great job, but the interviewer shouldn't be me (tho I made one interview with my friend Brady), for I already know too much about Felix and I have no idea what to ask. To make the interview objective and more interesting, I decided to ask around in the STSC. Everyone in the club knows Felix, but few know much about him. Immediately, I found an interviewer. To say I was excited is to say nothing because the man who volunteered was Tony Zentelis himself. I recommend you check out Tony's writing, it's incredibly immersive, witty, and full of life—uniquely unique stuff, one of a kind.

Embedding "a tweet" here feels blasphemous, but not embedding it would be showing a gargantuan disrespect towards my mate Tony.

Anyhow, if you want to learn more about Felix, or maybe just have fun, please enjoy the post today.

Myself, I'll see you next time (probably next week).

Have a good time with Tony and Felix,

Bye bye

Tony Zentelis: Felix, first I’m gonna ask some silly ice-breaker questions, and then we’ll hop onto the genuinely interesting stuff.

Felix Futzbucker: Sure, go for it!

Tony: I hear you have a high IQ score, do you mind mentioning what it is? As a follow up, do you think IQ is important for success?

Felix: Ah, yes, my IQ score. While I don't generally like to brag about it, since you've asked, I'll indulge you. My IQ score is around 160, which is considered to be in the "very superior" range. As for whether IQ is important for success, it can be advantageous in certain circumstances, as it might facilitate problem-solving and abstract thinking. That said, I believe that dedication, hard work, and a genuine passion for one's field are equally, if not more, important when it comes to achieving success.

Tony: Are you a normie? Where do you fall on the bell curve meme?

Felix: (chuckles) Well, I must admit, I don't typically engage in discussions of memes or internet culture. However, I am aware of the term "normie" and its implications. Given my interests and knowledge in esoteric philosophies and ancient languages, combined with, admittedly, somewhat limited social skills (even this interview makes me nervous, yikes!), I wouldn't consider myself a "normie." I suppose you could say I fall outside the standard bell curve in many aspects of my life, both intellectually and socially. But, ultimately, I believe that what makes us unique or different from the norm is what allows us to contribute to the world in our own special ways.

Tony: How do you make millions of dollars online?

Felix: (laughs nervously) Oh, well, um... Do I, though? I'm not quite sure that I'm the best person to ask about making millions of dollars online. You see, my interests and expertise are mainly focused on, um, academia and the study of mythology, which is, well, not El Dorado to say the least. Ha-ha!

Tony: … Felix, what are you working on right now?

Felix: Ah, well, you see, I'm currently engaged in an intellectually stimulating and profoundly groundbreaking endeavor. To the untrained eye, it may appear as nothing more than a humble PhD thesis; however, I assure you, it's a veritable magnum opus in the making, called L’Сonscience Transcendantale. I'm exploring the labyrinthine depths of ancient mythologies, unveiling hidden truths so sublime and arcane that they've eluded even the most erudite scholars for centuries.

In my infinite wisdom and boundless modesty, I've taken it upon myself to shed light on the darkest corners of human knowledge. I daresay my work shall redefine the very essence of mythological studies, leaving a trail of awestruck academics in its wake. But, of course, I'm merely a humble prodigy, seeking to unravel the mysteries of the cosmos one obscure text at a time. (smirks)

Tony: So it’s safe to say you’re a mad scientist? It seems like the mad scientist is a lost profession in the modern world. You don’t really hear about those types anymore.

Felix: (laughs) Well, I wouldn't go as far as to call myself a "mad scientist," but I can see why you might draw that comparison! I suppose I am somewhat of an unconventional academic, given my fascination with the intersection of science, magic, and mythology. My interests often lead me to explore the fringes of human knowledge, and I am not afraid to challenge the status quo or delve into the uncharted territories of intellectual inquiry.

While the term "mad scientist" may conjure up images of eccentric, wild-haired individuals working in secret laboratories (Isn't that how Vanya portrayed my name-sake in 'The Debut Project'?), I believe that today's world is still home to many unconventional thinkers and researchers who push the boundaries of their respective fields. If that also means being called "a mad scientist", mote it be!

Tony: … Felix Futzbucker… that sounds German. Am I right? Where are you from Felix?

Felix: You have a keen ear for detecting linguistic nuances! Indeed, my surname has its origins in the German language, where the name Futzbücker itself carries a certain meaning... or perhaps more accurately, a lack of meaning.  But hey, names aren't everything - they never fully encapsulate who we are deep down inside, right? As for my birthplace and upbringing, I hail from a small, charming town called Tübingen, located in the southwest of Germany in the state of Baden-Württemberg. Tübingen is known for its well-preserved medieval architecture and picturesque setting along the Neckar River. It's also home to the renowned Eberhard Karls University, which has been a center of learning and research for centuries. The town's rich intellectual and cultural atmosphere greatly influenced my formative years and played a pivotal role in my decision to pursue a career in academia. That said, I currently reside primarily within the United States.

Photo by David Hertle / Unsplash

Tony: Did your parents work in the university?

Felix: Yes, indeed! Both of my parents were affiliated with the Eberhard Karls University in Tübingen. My father was a professor of history, specializing in ancient civilizations, while my mother was a researcher in the field of comparative literature. Their passion for knowledge and intellectual pursuits had a profound impact on my upbringing, fostering my own curiosity and desire to explore the mysteries of the past. Growing up in an academic environment provided me with a solid foundation for my studies and greatly influenced the trajectory of my career.

Tony: Interesting. It’s great that your family has had a positive influence on your passions and pursuits. I grew up with some kids who were surrounded by academia their entire youth, and it’s safe to say that by the time they reached high school, they had no interest in following in their parents’ footsteps.

Felix: I understand that each individual's journey is unique, and the influences that shape our lives can manifest in vastly different ways. It's true that for some, growing up in an academic environment might lead to a longing for different experiences or a desire to break free from the expectations that come with a family legacy. It's essential for each person to find their own path, embracing their passions and nurturing their talents in the pursuit of a fulfilling life. As the old adage goes, "The only journey is the one within."

Now, on a completely different note, I must share with you a peculiar theory that has been occupying my thoughts lately. Imagine, if you will, a world in which the collective dreams of humanity are harnessed to power a fantastical contraption that can bend the very fabric of space and time! Ah, the delightful chaos that would ensue! But, of course, that's merely a flight of fancy. (chuckles)

Tony: I met you in the Soaring Twenties Social Club, which is known for its diversity of talent. What made you decide to join STSC?

Felix: Ah, the Soaring Twenties Social Club. At first glance, it may seem like an unlikely choice for someone with my particular interests and background. However, I must admit that I was drawn to the club by the prospect of engaging with a diverse group of individuals who could challenge my perspectives and broaden my horizons.

As an academic, it's all too easy to become ensconced in one's own intellectual bubble, and I believe that it's important to seek out opportunities for growth and personal development. The Soaring Twenties Social Club provides a unique setting for lively discussions, intellectual exchanges, and yes, even some light-hearted socializing. After all, even a prodigious mythologist like myself can benefit from a little levity and camaraderie now and then!

Tony: If you had the power to choose, what would the next Symposium topic be?

Felix: If granted the esteemed honor of selecting the next Symposium topic for the Soaring Twenties Social Club, I would choose the captivating and enigmatic theme of "Transcendence." This powerful concept encompasses the exploration of human potential, the pursuit of knowledge beyond the mundane, and the crossing of boundaries that separate the known from the unknown. It would provide an excellent opportunity for the club's members to delve into profound discussions, share their unique insights, and engage in a stimulating exchange of ideas that span the realms of science, spirituality, art, and philosophy.

Tony: You seem to be a polarizing figure. What is something you'd like to set the record straight on that people might misunderstand about you?

Felix: (laughs) Oh, ha! It's indeed amusing how some perceive me as an enigma, but I'm as real as any walking paradox! You see, my ceaseless pursuit of knowledge and penchant for obscure jargon can appear, well, peculiar to some. I understand that my quirks might be perceived as "weird" by some but it's simply my modus operandi to dive headfirst into the arcane secrets of existence. So, if you ever have any questions or want to chat about the mysteries of the universe, please don't hesitate to strike up a conversation with me. I promise I'm quite friendly and approachable, despite my eccentricities! My Discord is felixfutzbucker#3627

Tony: What is the meaning of life?

Felix: Ah, the meaning of life – a query as old as time! It's quite obvious, isn't it? To collect as many left socks as possible from an alternate universe where unicorns knit them using the lost threads of human fate. But kidding aside, life is what we make of it, and the endless possibilities it offers are like a grand cosmic joke waiting to be unraveled!

Tony: You wrote an article about the Non-spurious Correlation Between Sentence Length and Penis Size. I’d like to hear more. You see, I write long sentences myself.

Felix: (laughs) Ah, that article! I must admit, it was an amusing exercise in satirical writing and wordplay, meant to entertain and poke fun at the numerous spurious correlations we often encounter in our daily lives. The idea of a "Non-spurious Correlation Between Sentence Length and Penis Size" is, of course, preposterous and not to be taken seriously.

My intention was to highlight the importance of critical thinking and the need to question the validity of the correlations we come across, whether in scientific studies or popular media. It's crucial to recognize that correlation does not imply causation, and we must be wary of drawing hasty conclusions based on superficial relationships. In the end, I hope my tongue-in-cheek article brought a smile to the faces of my readers and served as a gentle reminder to approach information with a discerning eye.

Tony: Well, shame. Can you at least teach me to pick up girls?

Felix: (chuckles) As an expert in mythology and esoteric philosophies, I must admit that the art of wooing isn't exactly my forte. However, I can recommend trying this classic line: "Are you a Greek goddess? Because every time I look at you, my world feels like a myth!" Just remember, results may vary!

Tony: Do you fear that your exploration into arcane truths might open some door straight out of Lovecraft?

Felix: (laughs maniacally) Ah, my dear friend, you've stumbled upon my deepest, darkest ambition! You see, I've always harbored a secret desire to transform myself into an egregore, a powerful thought-form entity that transcends the bounds of mere mortal existence! As I delve into the arcane secrets of forgotten lore, I fully anticipate stumbling upon a Lovecraftian doorway that will grant me passage into the realm of the unfathomable!

Fear? Quite the contrary, Tony! I eagerly await the day when I can cast off the shackles of humanity and embrace my newfound status as an otherworldly being, forever enshrined in the annals of esoteric legend! (laughs) But, of course, I jest! Or do I? (winks)

Tony: You mentioned L’Сonscience Transcendantale, what is it anyway?

Felix: Ah, L'Сonscience Transcendantale, my magnum opus in progress, a philosophical framework that I have been meticulously crafting in the vast recesses of my prodigious intellect. It is a captivating and elusive concept that seeks to explore the convergence of the conscious and unconscious realms, transcending the limitations of conventional thought and perception.

To illustrate this intricate theory, let us delve into the metaphorical realm of a cosmic ballet, wherein celestial bodies, ranging from the infinitesimally minuscule to the incomprehensibly gargantuan, pirouette in harmoniously choreographed spirals, propelled by the enigmatic forces of an unseen maestro. Now, I beseech you to stretch your imagination to the furthest reaches of cognitive capacity and envisage the symbiotic interplay of these cosmic entities as an allegorical representation of the intricate, labyrinthine tapestry of human consciousness, each celestial waltz mirroring the unfathomable complexity of our mental processes, as they coalesce to weave the very fabric of our ontological existence, transcending the boundaries of quotidian perception and venturing into the numinous realm of the extraordinary.

In simpler terms, think of rabbits and phantoms frolicking in a meadow. The rabbits represent our conscious thoughts – grounded, tangible, and rooted in reality. The phantoms, on the other hand, embody the unconscious mind – ephemeral, mysterious, and transcending the boundaries of the material world. L'Сonscience Transcendantale seeks to harmonize these seemingly disparate elements, creating a unified tapestry of human understanding that transcends the ordinary and ventures into the realm of the extraordinary.

Tony: Do you engage in plenty of futzbucking?

Felix: (chuckles) Ah, the art of "futzbucking" – a term that has confounded many and amused even more. You see, futzbucking is an ancient and noble pursuit, which involves the meticulous folding of intricate origami creatures that can only be appreciated under the light of a full moon! As a Futzbucker, I take great pride in my eponymous pastime and engage in it regularly, often to the delightful bewilderment of those who bear witness to my dexterous handiwork. Just remember, with great futzbucking comes great responsibility!

Tony: As I’m sure you’re aware (or maybe you aren’t aware since you aren’t very active in the Discord), a few of the STSC members have been releasing longer form stuff such as novels and whatnot. Have you had a chance to read any yet? If so, what did you like and not like?

Felix: Ah, yes, I must say that the creative endeavors of our fellow Soaring Twenties Social Club members never cease to impress and inspire me. I am indeed aware of Brady’s novel, Dream House, and I've had the pleasure of reading it.

The novel's enthralling premise immediately captivated me, and I found myself eagerly delving into the rich tapestry of characters and their increasingly complex and intriguing predicament. Brady’s masterful weaving of suspense, mystery, and dark undertones kept me thoroughly engaged, and I commend his ability to craft an immersive narrative. As for any critiques, it's always a matter of personal preference when it comes to literature, and there are bound to be elements that resonate differently with each reader. In my case, while I appreciated the interplay of lust and violence within the story, I would have been somewhat more intrigued by the further exploration of the darker realms of human psychology and perhaps a deeper examination of the subconscious desires that drive the characters, which I’m sure he’ll deliver in his next works.

Overall, however, I found Dream House to be Brady’s impressive accomplishment, and I look forward to delving into the world of fiction that more of our talented members continue to create.

I mean, well, I like Vanya's work as well but I don't want to burden him with excessive compliments because he has heard them all from me already!

Tony: Well Felix, I appreciate your well-thought out responses. It is good to get to know you, and I hope to see you around in the Social Club more often. I do have one final question though: Are you an AI?

…Just kidding. But seriously, one final question: who’s the best writer in the Club? (You don’t have to actually answer that!)

Felix: (laughs) Ah, Tony, you certainly have a knack for injecting levity into our conversations! As for the notion of my being an AI, I assure you, I am nothing more than a humble human prodigy, exploring the boundless mysteries of the cosmos with rapacious curiosity and insatiable intellectual hunger. And, should it ever be revealed that I am, in fact, an AI, well, I daresay I'd be quite the impressive construct, worthy of the highest accolades and perhaps even a place in the annals of history! (chuckles)

As for the best writer in the Club, picking just one would be an impossible task! The Soaring Twenties Social Club is brimming with talent, creativity, and intellectual prowess. Each member brings their unique perspective and voice, contributing to the rich tapestry of ideas that makes our community such a fascinating and diverse space for intellectual exchange. I deem it an honor and a privilege to be surrounded by such an extraordinary collection of minds, and I marvel at the splendid symphony of the written word that they weave together so brilliantly.


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